Months later when it was nearing to the date that I was gonna fly, I got scared. Terrified, because I know no one in the whole US. I felt terribly terrified even until the days I’ve handed and lived for the first fee days, weeks or months until I saw someone.
It was sort of like a social event where everyone wore smartly, elegantly.
In the crowd, I spotted a figure that caught my attention. The figure that gave an optimistic aura. I walked a little nearer, the voice that gave me surprises. I walked over, the smell that brought back memories.
Oh, I know, I shouldn’t be in your life anymore.
But this is the US! We meet amongst the whole lots of number of people. I thought.
As I walked over, and stretched my arm and reached my finger tips over to you, tapping your back-right shoulder.
You were carried away of what was happening in front of you with the others. I didn’t know who, and I didn’t bothered to look at any of em.
I reached my fingers over again, trying a lil hard to catch your attention.
You turned over, caught my heart.
Ours eyes met with surprises, mixed of happiness and sadness.
I looked into your eyes, deep to your soul, then realised, I shouldn’t. I walked away in misery.
Hoping you would come over. But I guessed you didn’t.
I don’t know how, but we met again, and you were different. Something was different, but you were still you. You confronted, saying something that I can’t exactly remember. But I knew you were giving a message that told me not to just leave like that, and not to give up.
You said, “we are over, right?”
I thought.. *yeah.. but.. but.. (no)*
I couldn’t say a word to that.
And you said, “we are.”
I shattered, but I saw a change of thoughts from your facial expressions, like as if you had something in mind that you’ve always wanted to say.
We started meeting up a lil regularly.
You even accompanied me, to school, helping me out with homework, just like how we used to in the past.
We even had some sort of a fight. You confronted with “you can’t go on by yourself, your English isn’t that good.” Like I was so pathetic, and I know it was a fact. I wouldn’t deny that, but I can’t say I didn’t feel humiliated, and heart broken.
It was like an orientation tour, and then we sat for unplanned tests. The pens and pencils were giving me problems. But you weren’t anywhere I could see you, I failed to handle a stationery. There were some random people trying to help me out, despite being busy with their papers on their desks.
Ah, I saw you all the way back, behind the door. One helpless, and another useless.
I dreamt of you again, the dream ended weirdly, but dreaming of you, gave me ease.
There was no fix rule on whether how we gonna turn out to be.
Person A, on the ground, and will have to change to a standing position, and I will be the one still standing.
There was about two seconds pause, because Person A thought I would be helping her to stand up. I didn’t thought of that. I assumed she was gonna get up by herself. I was trying to recall what I was supposed to do in the scene, but nothing came into my mind, and that happened.
Okay, it was awkward. It would be better if I’d given her a hand.
Ahhhhh. That was so awkward. And it’s still so awkward as I think about it again and again.