Don’t think that we’ll always see the people around us
One day they’ll just be gone and remember the last time you see them, how did things went? How much would you have done differently?
No, that is it, no more chances.
That is how I live my moments with people I meet. Stop looking at your phones. Devices are meaningless if you have your soul in your body, able to sense the people right In front of you right now.
I wished I could announce the fact I am autistic
I know I know
Many of ya don’t know who I am
Where I come from
What I do
I’ve thought countless times that I would make an introduction, do stuffs say stuffs
It’s just hard,
consuming unusual amounts of effort to just..
speak up
I can speak, why not just somebody interview me ask me questions and I’ll say whatever freestyle true and authentic responses
I can do thT myself, yeah. Why not, right?
Muted by default, I am, have always been, and this is.. me.
At this point of time
The best thing to do is
to prevent myself from drowning again
… breathe… breathe… breathe….
Oh god… can I do something…. do something that is working…. for the good
我比较想看你们
但我不想被看着
这是…宁愿默默的关注吧
是我焦虑的时候
是我说不出话来的时候
是我继续不下去的时候
是我使劲放松的时候
是我最有灵感的时侯
但没来得及给你们享
Once we stopped talking
It’s hard to start talking
I was asked if I were a people-pleaser.
You could say, a people-pleaser to an extent.
But actually, not at all, if you see the root of it.
I always tend to push my limits, and always been learning the limits of others.
I’m a people-observer. One way to say it, it’s a nature of being an actor as well as writer/director.
What people can’t and myself couldn’t see / be aware of, is/was the ability to mask and the essentiality to learn to be neurotypical. For many years till my late 20s, I’ve always thought I was the alien.
However, now that I’ve been observing and understood philosophical perspectives, my view now is that, I wasn’t the alien but most are blinded by the monsters.
The love for music
I knew i loved music since I was like 4y/o
But I could never learned a song till I found a way when I was around 16y/o after being disappointed by myself so many times no matter how much I wanted to voice the tones out.
Here’s how being dyslexic and having auditory processing disorder affected me and how I wished I knew how to cope with it earlier:
– write it down and learn by reading/singing out loud
As a person who has the question to meaning of life always in mind, a wisdom pursuer, a intuitional spiritual normal human being,
having different track of thoughts running at once is messy yet clear and certain that I have a different mind, always summarised as.. “bunch of wormy words, deleted, period.”
At this very moment, I have came to realise the CURRENT purpose of life, whether or not we live or die soon or later, meaningfully or meaninglessly.. Is to search for like-minded people and work on meaningful, productive, awesome stuffs before we leave everything behind and move forward to the paradise that we belong to. Ain’t that it? Or perhaps, one of the “it-s”?
So in order to find like-minded people, I need to express and put myself out there a lil more right?
Ew uh. What do you think?
//
wordin:
So, you know how sometimes you’re just sitting there, pondering the meaning of life? Always thinking, chasing wisdom, diving into the depths of spirituality, always trying to understand things. being a regular human being, yknow.
my mind is a bit chaotic—messy, but oddly clear. People might call it a bunch of nonsense. —— How would I know? At least that’s what I thought.
But. Just a moment ago, I came to realise, The purpose life, right now, is all about connecting with people who vibe with our wavelength and doing some cool, meaningful stuff together. Because, let’s face it, whether we’re here alive for a short time or a long time, what matters is making the most of it, right?
So, to find those like-minded souls, I figure I gotta put myself out there a bit more. Errr that didn’t turn out quite well in my head right now. But yea, what do you think?
//
J's 